Update Before I'm Off to Study...

I know it's been two months since I've written anything, but keep in mind that in those two months, not a whole lot has happened. Finals and winter break do that to you.

Anyway. I'm in my last semester at VT and honestly, the weather is doing its darndest to drive me out. I am so over snow and the people around here not knowing how to deal with snow (hint: you start salting/sanding BEFORE there's any snow, let alone 3") and being plowed in and digging my car out with a tupperware because Kroger, Food Lion, Target, and Walmart all sold out of snow shovels ages ago. I am sick of unshoveled sidewalks ON CAMPUS that mean I'm walking to my classes in snow past my knees and black ice everywhere.

I'm also sick and tired of having to remind my roommates that just because they don't have class until noon (or at all) doesn't mean that everyone doesn't.

But I digress. I've got Food Microbiology, Immunology, and Detective Fiction, as well as the staple of Research to keep me busy. A test in Immunology to keep me oh so busy that I'm actually considering blowing off the research lab today in order to study. And because it's a 20 minute walk to the lab from my class (already a 15 minute walk from my apartment) and it is still currently snowing/sleeting/who knows outside.

I think that's what I'll do.

Oh Em Gee!

So those who know me well know that I've applied to three clinical lab science programs (Carilion Clinic in Roanoke, VA, Augusta Health Center in Fishersville, VA, and The Valley Hospital in Ridgewood, NJ). I also thought about applying to Virginia Commonwealth's program (Richmond, VA), but as it's in a college setting, it takes longer. Semesters and courseloads and all that. For hospital-based programs, it's done on intensive block scheduling, and you work for 12 months straight (with a week break between Christmas and New Year's).

For those who don't know what that is, clinical lab science is a branch of pathology (medical specialty) that deals with the biology and chemistry (and biochemistry, which I'm loving, btw) of disease. If you've ever given a urine sample, had a blood test, or even just a throat culture for mono or strep throat, a clinical lab scientist processed and analyzed your tests. The results of these tests factor into about 75% of diagnosis and treatment decisions made by physicians; other results can be used to determine if blood is suitable for transfusion, genetic testing to see if you are predisposed to a disease, or simply typing blood. There are several divisions of this science; at the moment blood banking (transfusion science) and microbiology (I know, shocker) are the most interesting to me.

Anyway, I've been having kittens over the fact that two of my letters of recommendations were lost in the mail (one of which is due next Saturday). Obviously, this is crucial for Valley, as their deadline is October 31; it is also a serious issue for Augusta, who does semi-rolling admissions. Augusta chooses about half of their class through people who get complete applications in early and the other half by those who have their applications completed by their February 1 deadline.

This became especially agitating as Valley e-mailed me on Monday offering me an interview, but only if they received my final reference by their deadline. For the record, it was sent out September 15. Curse you, United States Postal Service.

Fortunately, the professor who wrote my missing references agreed to issue new ones, as he had saved them. He even gave me some money to cover the cost of sending the letters priority mail so they would arrive at Augusta and Valley by the end of the week.

Anywho, I just got an e-mail today saying they had received my third letter and they're offering an interview as well...I'm so excited!

The more I learn about this career, the more I realize it's what I really want to do. I've been doing bench science and lab work my entire Tech career; it's what I love. I also am completely fascinated by how the body tells us that it's sick or damaged. I can't imagine letting this knowledge and these skills be wasted, especially when I get so much joy out of it. So I'm hoping and wishing that these interviews go well.

In other news...in Patho lab today, I got to culture Mycobacterium tuberculosis. The species name should tell you what nasty disease that causes; the bacteria we use in teaching labs are engineered to be non-virulent though, so it's really not so bad. They made us work in the biosafety hood anyway, to give us experience with the skills. I'm super excited to look at this particular bacteria under the microscope on Tuesday. I'm such a nerd.

Keeping Track, Week 1

So I have to write a paper (and make an oral presentation) at the end of this semester about what I've done and learned doing undergraduate research. This isn't such a terribly big deal to me, but I definitely need to keep a log of what I've been doing. Granted I have a laboratory notebook for this purpose, but that's a lot of notes and scientific data. This can be in more narrative form.

So Monday I spent most of my time in the lab reading the safety manual and skimming articles about the organism we're working with, Pantoea stewartii stewartii. I also inoculated an overnight culture for the grad student to use the following day. Included in this was actually making the solution in which we're growing the culture and then collecting samples from the freezer stocks. I learned to use the automatic pipetter (love. it.) and just generally worked on lab skills.

Wednesday (yesterday) I continued to learn some basic skills by performing a Mini-Prep plasmid extraction. I'd done them in G&P lab last semester, but never with a filter. I also accidentally spilled one of my cultures, so I wasn't really surprised to see that particular culture reading at almost no DNA content when I used the mass spectrometer at the end of the extraction. I also learned how to use an optical density reading and convert it to the mass of what is in the solution (in this case plasmid DNA).

Other than that, school has been, well, school. We had a lecture in biochem about multitasking (actually pretty interesting), my patho teacher has successfully scared at least 20 people into dropping his class, and toxicology...I can't even determine how I feel about toxicology. It's just a huge blank.

Gathering the Nerve to Quit and Applications

Summer's a slow time. Time to break down what's been going on lately and update on my life.

I've totally given up on my research at this moment. I haven't looked at it in weeks and can vaguely remember what I'm supposed to do. My PI's going to be pissed.
But I hate this. I honest to god want to quit. I'm over the frustration and not being able to actually DO anything. None of my work is hands on in the lab, it's all on the computer, and I hate computers. Linux is not my friend. And I'm tired of having to do long-distance communication with my PI and my project partner whenever I have a problem. I can't solve these things remotely, I have NO computer science skills.
I really want to quit, to the point where I actually had a discussion with my advisor about it on Monday. She heard through the VT Microbiology grapevine (the program is small and everyone's a gossip) that I was miserable and wanted to talk to me about it. She thinks maybe I'd be happier with a different project and even, in a roundabout way, offered me a spot in her lab, but first I have to talk to my PI.
I hate talking to adults. Which is pathetic given that I'm graduating next May and will be an adult myself. But I'm always so freaking terrified of disappointing authority figures in my life...hence why it took me over a month to tell my advisor that I wasn't applying to grad schools anymore. I hate being a disappointment or letting people down. And I hate having to tell people who have authority over me that I'm going to do so.
But I need to tell him. I've been putting it off since Monday and will probably put it off at least another week (hurray Hokie Camp actually allowing me to procrastinate). But this needs to be taken care of before school, and time is ticking down. Otherwise, I may be facing a completely miserable semester.

In other news, I've decided to not apply to graduate school for the time being. This is partly because of my general frustration with research as a whole and partly because I am SO OVER school. I love learning and classes, but graduate school is more working than learning. You're sort of between an employee and a student.
Oh, and I've spent nearly 17 years being a student...I think I need to do something else for a while. I need to grow up and be an adult. Maybe learn to talk to them (see above).
So I've been applying to medical technology certification programs. They're one year programs, doing hands-on lab work and I should be able to get a job once I finish. The field has a severe shortage. I want to work in a lab and run tests and things...another drawback, really, to going to graduate school. All the PhDs I've met (post-docs and professors) spend more time in their offices than in their labs. I want to do actual work. OK, the post-docs do a lot of lab work, but for the goal of living in their offices...I don't want that.
As of Monday afternoon, I've sent off two applications and requested three letters of recommendation for each. I'm waiting on a third program to release their application...and hoping beyond hope that all my letters get in ASAP.

Well, that's all that's going on in my life right now.

Since everyone else was doing it...

1 test (Physics)
1 presentation (gene mutants)
2 quizzes
2 homework assignments
3 extra credit assignments
3 finals
...and about 50 genes to transcribe, translate, and align so my PI can get published

Just in time for summer vacation.

In the meantime, I'm waiting to hear on summer jobs. I've applied to two lab jobs, planning to add a third (orientation aide, undeclared majors) on this week, and will apply for a fourth (orientation aide, science majors) when it becomes available. Maybe I'll apply for a bookstore job as well.

I love school, but I am so ready for summer and NOT HAVING HOMEWORK.

Continuing Education

So lately I've been considering, a lot, what I'm going to do after graduation. (How I realized I could have graduated this semester if I had been so inclined is another story)

I know I want to go to graduate school, that much is certain. However, I don't know if I want to do a masters or a PhD program. I know I can put in two more years, but I'm balking at the thought of four or more. Especially when my future plans aren't set in academia.

I want to work for the government, ideally as a weapons analyst. In the defense capacity, not offensively. I am so ethically opposed to the idea of engineering organisms for strategic purposes (translation: biological weapons) that it is slightly painful. But at the same time, I know there are people and groups out there researching and doing just that. And we need to be prepared.

This desire probably stems from my literary love for spy and crime novels, as well as the books by Richard Preston. In fact, his books are primarily what I want to do with my life--be on the defensive for whatever is out there waiting to infect and attack the human race.

In principle, these things aren't difficult, just time-consuming. But there are people who have nothing but time to tinker in a lab with the same skills I'm learning in classes (transformation, mutagenesis, etc), with potentially crippling results.

It doesn't even have to be something engineered. During irradication, it was determined that smallpox only needs 20,000 people within a two-week radius of each other to survive. Heck, there's more than that in a 15 minute radius on my college campus on any given weekday. Other diseases, like polio or measles, can have vast damaging effects, especially in an age where more and more people are refusing to vaccinate their kids. One day at the swimming pool and you can have at outbreak. In the 1980s, the Rajneeshees reminded us of our weakness to plain old Salmonella typhimurium by spreading it on the salad bar.

I want to do work with things like this, in a microbiologist's capacity. However, I'm not sure if I really have it in me to get a PhD, or if I even need a PhD to do these things. I don't want to run the show, I just want to get in the game.

Linux-ing, Part 2

I hate Linux and it hates me. Seriously.

Either that or Dr. J's main computer is out to get me. For real. It isn't letting me access any files, now including the ones I made myself. I was able to access one file for about an hour or so last Tuesday (basically, long enough for me to finish working with the data in that file) and then it decided I couldn't use it anymore.

And I'm the only undergrad having this problem. I think Dr. J might think I'm a moron.

In other news, I've been looking at Microbiology Master's programs (I don't think I've got it in me to get a Ph.D.), mostly in the Richmond to DC corridor. So that would be VCU, George Mason, and Georgetown. And I found two MS programs in Biohazard Defense that look pretty cool in addition to normal Master's programs.

Hopefully I can rock the GRE in May.

Week 1- Homework, ghost movies, and labs, oh my!

Oh School.

I'm very obviously procrastinating on homework at the moment (2 papers, nearly 300 pages of reading, 2 pre-labs, and a survey that VT Survey refuses to let me access) and I've got a sore throat, so let's recap on the week before I get dressed and hit the books. Man I wish the library opened before noon on Sundays.

Monday was a day off from school, so I spent it attending meetings, stalking the necessary people to sign my undergraduate research form (adviser, dept. head of Biology, academic dean of the College of Science, etc), and relishing the last few hours without work. Tuesday I was off and running, with Microbial Physiology, Gender in 20th C. Africa, and Physics II, followed by dinner on-campus with the boyfriend, one of his roommates and the roommate's girlfriend. Wednesday was the long day, with 3+ hour sessions each of The Great Depression and Microbial Genetics and Physiology Lab (aka Class Lab), and I made the mistake of taking cold medicine in the morning and nearly passing out in Depression. Decided I would not be re-dosing for lab, as sleepy Beth + open flames is surely a recipe for disaster. As it is, I've already burned myself in that lab. Thursday was the same as Tuesday, but managed to grab lunch with the evil twin as Physics II lab doesn't start until the second week, and as soon as I got out of Physics, I went home, jotted a post-it of my homework, and officially called it a week.

I'm becoming a bit of a Guillermo del Toro fan. I've always liked Hellboy and Pan's Labyrinth, and this weekend I watched The Orphanage and The Devil's Backbone with the boyfriend, both of which are excellent movies. While The Orphanage is trippy in the same way as Pan's Labyrinth, The Devil's Backbone was a pretty straight-forward ghost story. Also, after seeing The Unborn last week, The Orphanage was reminding me of that a little as well.

Well, that's all for the moment. Gotta get dressed and start on that reading, so I can write the papers...and everything else.